Sat across the street to see whether legit; went in after watching a few clients come and go after spending about the right amount of time to get half-hour massage and HE. Older male (owner?) greeted me, asked where I heard of place. I told him I saw his neon sign in the window (true). He asked what I wanted, I asked how much for an hour: he said $50, I said okay and charged it to my CU bankcard. I noticed an older woman and a young girl: it looked like a family operation to me, and that's about how it operated as well, with Mom and Dad able to see into the rooms through 8"x10" windows placed face-high in the door (of my room, at any rate). Was led to room in back and got undressed, laid face down on clean table, towel over my ass because I don't know this place. A girl comes in and greets me with a "Hello" and I return the greeting. She asks how I like massage, hard or soft, I say hard. She goes to work slathering on oil and not really doing much. I try encouraging her to actually dig in, and eventually she does a passable job, but frankly, this monger has had much, much better. So, I figure since the massage is sucky, in my experience that usually means that sucky-sucky is on the menu or at the very least, a HE. Not. A. Chance. At least, not for me. Maybe because I'm a 1st time customer, maybe because every time I make a small move (like closing my fingers gently over hers during hand/arm massage (she giggled once) she got the wrong message. She does the hot towel thing after she's done with my back. No toying with the boys, nothing. Zero. So, after the flip and some more oil is applied, she does the hot towel thing. Then she says, "Okay, massage over now." I say, what about this, pointing to my disinterested, sleepy appendage. She says "Oh, no. Solly. You dless now." So. Plenty sufficient English skills to take my money, give me a half-assed rubdown, and deny me any pleasure, but not enough to spank my monkey, who lays there dejected. I am going back to discover whether the 2nd time is a charm. I will show them my credit card receipt and, playing the same game, ask for "same thing last time." But this time I'm not going to let that young one take me anywhere, and I"m going to insist on a more private room, one without a peeping glass in the door. If they don't have one, I'm going to get a refund, and leave. I"ll be reporting back on what happens. Hopefully, it's just the 1st time customer jitters, and I'll at the very least get a 'helping hand' afterwards. I don't like to judge too quickly, though. They show four women on their CL ad (http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/thp/4185189113.html), and so maybe I just found a legit spa and have to move on.